It's the 3D effects that make this picture worth your time, even if you don't care much about horror flicks. (But if you're turned off by gore, even rather cartoonish displays, and standard-slasher-issue sex and nudity, stay home, cos there's lots of all that. Lots.) "My Bloody Valentine 3D" is more like a thrill ride than a going-to-the-movie experience; when there's not stuff jumping off the screen at you (I actually flinched once) there's jaw-dropping realism in the 3D: lots of well composed shots with plenty of depth so that the 3D effect has value even when there's no action.
And speaking of no action, MBV3D has way too much of that kind of "nothing." Of course, this is the downfall of most 3D attempts. They do a few razzle-dazzle shots, then make us wait around watching yawn-inducing exposition until the next 3D go-round. For every pick-ax through the occipital orbit here, there’s seven or eight minutes of Kerr Smith and Emergency!’s Kevin Tighe arguing like the second leads in a community theater.
The picture isn’t a non-stop thrill ride, and it lacks a good wind-up of the audience or a good story. It wouldn’t be anything special without the 3D. It should have been the first of those three options—after all, how difficult would it have been to make this thing non-stop 3D effects? It would have been a first, too, in the same way “Raiders of the Lost Ark” was the first picture to deliver a cascading series of reversals.
3D effects should enhance the experience, or be the entire experience, but as occasional spice, it doesn’t work. MBV3D almost breaks free of the “just spice” syndrome by virtue of the strength of the effect in mostly static scenes. Kids standing around a pickup truck is suddenly a new visual experience. In fact, the most impactful 3D effects come in static shots and in normal-speed action. The real-time flying pick-axes, not so much. Too much to process in the brain, I guess.
The picture doesn’t quite work, but I really can’t say enough good things about the technology. It was made using the RealD 3D system, which in my experience is the best 3D system ever. They may improve it at the margins--a brighter image would be nice; dimness has been a shortcoming in every incarnation of this technology--but we can now say that practical 3D really is here. The image is sharp, the depth is viewable from all angles (I moved around during the credits to check) and does not degrade at all. Remarkable.
Here's a helpful hint: The best seat in the house is about eight to ten feet from the screen, right in the middle. You read right: If you want the best 3D experience, sit in those usually crummy seats down front. The 3D seems clearer, plus the technology seems to have an interesting side effect that makes sitting close work out okay. Turns out that when you're looking at the big screen, the 3D system makes it seem considerably smaller. Don't ask me why that is or how it works. I don't know. But I felt like I was looking at a very large HDTV, not a wall-sized movie screen.
See "My Bloody Valentine 3D" if you like technology or interesting visual effects, or if you want to see the latest iteration of projection technology--but skip it if you're squeamish.
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